The music video
Can you tell where it is from?
I can buy you!
MY GOD I suddenly got extremely popular after posting about the trip on Facebook. I've gone through 20 mails from girls that I don't even know and still have 20 more to read. Yikes! Guess you can buy people after all. Anyway, thanks for your mails, didn't mean it in a bad way :) I'll go through them tomorrow.
"10.000 dollar trip, no thank you!"
I got a ticket to Vegas, LA and Cabo left... completely free (you just have to go to the airport). Five star hotel, spa treatments, business class flights... Any takers? The other one didn't feel like going... Don't know how you can turn down something worth over 10.000 dollars. I don't have any words for that. But I don't want to go by myself so I hope someone else appreciates this huge gift from me to them. It is basically a fun vacation in luxury, no work, no strings attached, nothing! Oh dear, I'm just thinking about the song "I can buy you" right now.
"I Can buy you oh yeah oh yeah, but I can't make you do what you don't"
Haha after watching the video I kinda see myself in her, at the beginning of the video. I've been lying in a suite at D'Anglettere hotel this weekend, taking pain killers against my cold and swallowing them with champagne (seriously).
It's not fun living like a millionaire alone, as disgusting as it sounds.
"I Can buy you oh yeah oh yeah, but I can't make you do what you don't"
Haha after watching the video I kinda see myself in her, at the beginning of the video. I've been lying in a suite at D'Anglettere hotel this weekend, taking pain killers against my cold and swallowing them with champagne (seriously).
It's not fun living like a millionaire alone, as disgusting as it sounds.
Weekend of foie gras and champagne
I don't know why but the picture never want to stand up. Anyway... I'm back on track... Instead of fasting, there was a musicvideo shooting, visit to the spa at D'Anglettere hotel in Copenhagen, foie gras, champagne, champagne, champagne and some more champagne. Last night I fell in love with a wine, seriously in love! I asked to get a bottle back home because it's impossible to find yourself... When I found out about the price of a small bottle, I was about to faint. I don't mind spending money on shoes, bags and stuff, but I don't like the idea of drinking a huge amount of money, so I passed. It has been a crazy weekend, my god... If you only knew. I wish I could tell you more about my life but in a way I want to be private. Due to some things I do, I get a lot of jealousy thrown at me which I hate more than anything. I am just a human being made out of flesh and bones, nothing special about that, but I'm just a little more fortunate than others.
Now I'm back from my dream world, back in reality for a week... then I'm gone again...
I just died a little
Oh gosh guys, my life is not normal. Just found out that I will not go back home after making the video, I'll be staying there and then go to Mykonos and I have no strenght for anything right now... I just have to learn how to say no.
I have no idea how this will effect my fasting, if I continue, people will not want to be near me when I'm stressed and without food. I always dreamed of the kind of life that I could be at home one day and the next day somewhere else in the world... But I seriously don't know if I can handle it at this point, I've been stressing way to much for a very very long time now. The only time I sit down and rest is when I write my blog. Like I said before, I'm a people pleaser... Just got to get rid of that!
AAAAAAAAAAAAH just need to scream a little, slap my face and then I'm back on track. I also just popped a bottle of red wine. It's still juice, right?
Well, makeup is done, time to do my hair!
I have no idea how this will effect my fasting, if I continue, people will not want to be near me when I'm stressed and without food. I always dreamed of the kind of life that I could be at home one day and the next day somewhere else in the world... But I seriously don't know if I can handle it at this point, I've been stressing way to much for a very very long time now. The only time I sit down and rest is when I write my blog. Like I said before, I'm a people pleaser... Just got to get rid of that!
AAAAAAAAAAAAH just need to scream a little, slap my face and then I'm back on track. I also just popped a bottle of red wine. It's still juice, right?
Well, makeup is done, time to do my hair!
Fasting for wellbeing - Day 2
I am soooo tired! I woke up after 9 hours of sleep and just wanted to stay in bed all day. The headache is back, only a small one though, but I don't feel any hunger... I wonder why. So far I had two small glasses of juice, and will drink my tea in a few.
I'm getting ready for my video shoot, just sprayed on a tan so I now look like a gingerbread. I have to pack down some stuff and then go to Malmö where it's going to be made.
Doesn't look that dark on th picture... Hope it wont look too fake.
I'm getting ready for my video shoot, just sprayed on a tan so I now look like a gingerbread. I have to pack down some stuff and then go to Malmö where it's going to be made.
Doesn't look that dark on th picture... Hope it wont look too fake.
Day 1 compleated
This has been a great day! My fast has been going on for over 24 hours now and the headache from before is now gone. I'm lying in bed, picking out stuff to wear for my video tomorrow, drinking my herb tea and feel ridiculously well! I remember this feeling from when I actually had a colonic. It was last year in Manhattan and I just had to try it. I went twice and the first time I did it was not pleasant, but right after my ex took me to "The Mercer" in Soho and I had my favorite lobster and I got kinda high. It's hard to explain but I guess I felt that way because I was completely empty and my stomach got wild of all the nutrients I ate. Second time was not as great because I had alcohol and sweets the night before, it was damn painful! Due to the saltwater flush I did this morning, I guess my stomach and colons reacted the same way with the juice I drank. Because I've been so happy today, feeling like everything around me went in slow motion, but a very pleasant slow motion and I'm smiling to everyone and about everything. People might think I'm on a trip. Enough with all the shit talking. It's time to sleep so that I'm well rested tomorrow, though I'll only have 6 hours of sleep before the day starts.
Fasting tea - Day 1
So far so good. I haven't experienced any hunger, I just feel kinda empty but my stomach isn't making any noise, great!
I had to drive to the grocery store to get fresh veggies and fruit to juice the next days and I found myself singing in the car (!) I NEVER sing otherwise. It chocked me when I realized I used my vocals for other than talking. The only side effect that I feel is that I have a small headache, but it doesn't bother me much. I'm drinking loads of water and just had some orange and pineapple juice, YUM! I also got a new tea which is supposed to be great during fasts, need to drink 3 cups a day... Gosh I haven't been drinking as much since I was a teen and had vodka shots right out of the bottle. I always find the second and third day the most difficult, after that, hunger goes away completely. We'll see tomorrow!
In other words, I feel good :)
Now I have to download the song for the music video that I'm shooting tomorrow... I'll be singing in it... at least I practiced today in the car haha
I had to drive to the grocery store to get fresh veggies and fruit to juice the next days and I found myself singing in the car (!) I NEVER sing otherwise. It chocked me when I realized I used my vocals for other than talking. The only side effect that I feel is that I have a small headache, but it doesn't bother me much. I'm drinking loads of water and just had some orange and pineapple juice, YUM! I also got a new tea which is supposed to be great during fasts, need to drink 3 cups a day... Gosh I haven't been drinking as much since I was a teen and had vodka shots right out of the bottle. I always find the second and third day the most difficult, after that, hunger goes away completely. We'll see tomorrow!
In other words, I feel good :)
Now I have to download the song for the music video that I'm shooting tomorrow... I'll be singing in it... at least I practiced today in the car haha
Family history
My great grandmother did a water fast one day every week, she lived until she was 96 years old.
My grandmother smoked and loved pastry, she died at 61. Everyone always said I followed her footsteps, said that I was a copy of her, inside and outside. I changed that over a year ago. Still I know that I am just as my grandmother, though a little healthier :) Maybe I'll be 80.
My grandmother smoked and loved pastry, she died at 61. Everyone always said I followed her footsteps, said that I was a copy of her, inside and outside. I changed that over a year ago. Still I know that I am just as my grandmother, though a little healthier :) Maybe I'll be 80.
Fasting for wellbeing - Day 1
So far so good. The saltwaterflush is finally over!
I just "ate" 1 small glass of plum juice, one glass of carrot juice. I will have 6 or 7 glasses a day and some tea and lots of water.
I am sure that I will experience hunger tomorrow, but I don't think it will be as difficult today.
Fasting for wellbeing - Day 1
I woke up really late today and began my fast with a saltwaterflush. It is the most disgusting thing ever but it cleans out you inside, to let it get out the "natural way". You mix some natural sea salt with warm water (2 teaspoons of salt with one litre of water) and drink it all in one time. It taste like you're drinking the water of the ocean, seriosulty disgusting. After drinking it, you wait for the magic to work, which can take up to three hours. And then you'll be visiting the bathroom. I've did all of this and feel a little sick now, so I guess everything hasn't passed yet... I'll just stay inside and wait. After this, I will have my breakfast! I'll show you what it is later.
Fasting for wellbeing
My dear readers,
I'm doing some research for my company and for some clients. I will be on a juice fast for a minimum of 7 days.
This is something I have done before, last time was a 3-day water fast. I want to be clear that this is not going to be done in a weight loss purpose. I have some medical issues that I hope will decrease after the fast, though it would need to be longer than 7 days, I hope for the best. I will take private notes that will be for my professional research and I will also update you about everything I'm experiencing throughout this journey. The side effects can be difficult for a first time faster, though I've been through this several times, it's not as hard. Some might say I'm a lunatic, go ahead, call me crazy! The benefits of a fast is something I swear by are tremendously huge. If you've done a fast before, you know exactly what I'm taking about.
Examples of what fasting does:
A Swedish Fast Marches led in the 1950’s and 60’s, by Dr. Lennart Edren proved to the world the safety of fasting. Participants of these fasts marched 325 miles—that’s 33 miles/day—for ten whole days without solid food! And their health improved. As a matter of fact, participants had more energy AFTER the fast than before. And also, a 54-year old Scottish woman juice fasted for 249 days. Not only did she not harm herself, but she lost 74 pounds and got rid of her arthritic pain.
Fasting extends your life. One experiment done on rats showed that limiting them from overeating and systematically starving them increased their lifespan 2 ½ times! Proponents of fasting declare that aging is not commensurate with calendar years, but rather with the health of the cells. During fasting, the concentration of toxins removed from the body and appearing in the urine can increase ten-fold.
What Happens To The Body During A Fast?
During fasting, the body burns up and excretes huge amounts of accumulated wastes. This process can be assisted by drinking alkaline fruit and vegetable juices and potassium broth. The sugars in the fruit juice strengthen the heart and are extremely beneficial in normalizing all the body processes, assisting the body’s own healing and cellular regeneration. Juices require no digestion and are easily assimilated. Minerals are increased within the tissues. Therefore increased oxygenation occurs acting to reverse the aging process.
What symptoms may I experience with the first few days of fasting?
Symptoms such as fatigue, body odor, dry/scaly skin, acne, headaches, dizziness, irritability, anxiety, confusion, nausea, coughing, diarrhea, dark urine, dark/foul-smelling stools, body aches, insomnia, coated tongue with unpleasant taste in the mouth, sinus and bronchial mucus discharge, excessive perspiration, and visual or hearing problems.
After the worst part of the detoxification (the first few days) these symptoms start to go away. Some might experience some pain in parts they had problems with before - this is your body telling you that it's taking care of the bad, getting rid of it so it might never ever come back.
Day 1 starts tomorrow!
This will be stored in a new category called "Fasting for wellbeing"
I'm doing some research for my company and for some clients. I will be on a juice fast for a minimum of 7 days.
This is something I have done before, last time was a 3-day water fast. I want to be clear that this is not going to be done in a weight loss purpose. I have some medical issues that I hope will decrease after the fast, though it would need to be longer than 7 days, I hope for the best. I will take private notes that will be for my professional research and I will also update you about everything I'm experiencing throughout this journey. The side effects can be difficult for a first time faster, though I've been through this several times, it's not as hard. Some might say I'm a lunatic, go ahead, call me crazy! The benefits of a fast is something I swear by are tremendously huge. If you've done a fast before, you know exactly what I'm taking about.
Examples of what fasting does:
A Swedish Fast Marches led in the 1950’s and 60’s, by Dr. Lennart Edren proved to the world the safety of fasting. Participants of these fasts marched 325 miles—that’s 33 miles/day—for ten whole days without solid food! And their health improved. As a matter of fact, participants had more energy AFTER the fast than before. And also, a 54-year old Scottish woman juice fasted for 249 days. Not only did she not harm herself, but she lost 74 pounds and got rid of her arthritic pain.
Fasting extends your life. One experiment done on rats showed that limiting them from overeating and systematically starving them increased their lifespan 2 ½ times! Proponents of fasting declare that aging is not commensurate with calendar years, but rather with the health of the cells. During fasting, the concentration of toxins removed from the body and appearing in the urine can increase ten-fold.
What Happens To The Body During A Fast?
During fasting, the body burns up and excretes huge amounts of accumulated wastes. This process can be assisted by drinking alkaline fruit and vegetable juices and potassium broth. The sugars in the fruit juice strengthen the heart and are extremely beneficial in normalizing all the body processes, assisting the body’s own healing and cellular regeneration. Juices require no digestion and are easily assimilated. Minerals are increased within the tissues. Therefore increased oxygenation occurs acting to reverse the aging process.
What symptoms may I experience with the first few days of fasting?
Symptoms such as fatigue, body odor, dry/scaly skin, acne, headaches, dizziness, irritability, anxiety, confusion, nausea, coughing, diarrhea, dark urine, dark/foul-smelling stools, body aches, insomnia, coated tongue with unpleasant taste in the mouth, sinus and bronchial mucus discharge, excessive perspiration, and visual or hearing problems.
After the worst part of the detoxification (the first few days) these symptoms start to go away. Some might experience some pain in parts they had problems with before - this is your body telling you that it's taking care of the bad, getting rid of it so it might never ever come back.
Day 1 starts tomorrow!
This will be stored in a new category called "Fasting for wellbeing"
Musicvideo
I'm going to star in a music video on thursday, haha that will be hilarious! Just wait until you hear the song...
LA and Vegas coming up
I'm going to LA and Vegas with my partner in crime, my soul mate, the love of my life! :D I couldn't be happier! It is a "sponsored" trip in business class all the way, although I wanted first class obviosuly due to my greed, but you cant have everything... Even though, we don't have to pay a single penny for the whole trip. Killer hotels, killer shopping, killer parties... ah what more could we ask for? I'm not sure when we leave, but in like 2 weeks or so. AAAAH I just want to jump up and down!
Vegas 2009
Not very flattering photo, although right in front of the Wynn hotel. I stayed at the Encore, better than all the other hotels.
My love and me. Soon we need to take off our coats and wear bikinis instead.
I'm still considering going to Mykonos... Might go on friday. My God I love being me!
Speaking of bikinis, I need to go to the gym. Later!
Vegas 2009
Not very flattering photo, although right in front of the Wynn hotel. I stayed at the Encore, better than all the other hotels.
My love and me. Soon we need to take off our coats and wear bikinis instead.
I'm still considering going to Mykonos... Might go on friday. My God I love being me!
Speaking of bikinis, I need to go to the gym. Later!
Calorie counting for 1400
Good morning!
I woke up before 6 am to drive my aunt to the airport. When I was back home I was so hungry I could eat a horse, which I always am if I wake up super early. I had breakfast and just ate lunch, my total is up to 800 calories already, not something I'm used to in the morning. I have 600 more to eat today, need to plan them well!
I'm not eating much less than 1400 calories due to some medical issues that happened last year, and I don't like to go over 1500. Some might say that calorie counting is damn boring, I actually find it fun :)
Later!
I woke up before 6 am to drive my aunt to the airport. When I was back home I was so hungry I could eat a horse, which I always am if I wake up super early. I had breakfast and just ate lunch, my total is up to 800 calories already, not something I'm used to in the morning. I have 600 more to eat today, need to plan them well!
I'm not eating much less than 1400 calories due to some medical issues that happened last year, and I don't like to go over 1500. Some might say that calorie counting is damn boring, I actually find it fun :)
Later!
The perfect man
It's almost 1 am and I need to go to bed because I'll be up in 5 hours, driving my aunt to the airport. Since I can't sleep I looked through my pictures on my mac and found a few I forgot about. Last year in October(?) i was in Copenhagen with my Manhattan-ex-boyfriend and found a picture from then which I actually think is cute. I never like pictures of myself, if someone has a camera, I avoid it. But anyway... Here it is...
I was happy, and it showed. He has always been a "mystery man" to you so he obviously had to be cut out again. I've only been single for 3 months... feels like it's been over a year! It's weird when it comes to relationships and emotions. I cried my eyes out for a week (even though I finished it, but didn't want to), and then he was forgotten. It has always been like that, I'm sad for a few days and then I'm normal again. This time it felt harder because I think I was more in love with Manhattan than in him, I was breaking up with NYC :(
After meeting him, I found out who my dream man is (all girls always claimed to have a certain type of a dream guy, I never had one). My demands are not small, not small at all actually. Or I shouldn't call it a demand, it's only what I dream of. He should have the brain of this guy (he was BY FAR the SMARTEST man I've ever met, and think I'll ever meet!). He should be super hot (just met one that has the PERFECT look, so ridiculously hot!). And he should have dreams, goals, a desire to learn more and more each day. He should have a huge heart but be careful of who he let's in and not get to close... I don't care much for guys that are all over me all the time, I seriously get claustrophobic. He should be successful in what he does but never settle for what he has, always try to get better (I'm the same).
So what do you think, will I be single forever? Haha I do think so... Ah, I don't mind :)
I was happy, and it showed. He has always been a "mystery man" to you so he obviously had to be cut out again. I've only been single for 3 months... feels like it's been over a year! It's weird when it comes to relationships and emotions. I cried my eyes out for a week (even though I finished it, but didn't want to), and then he was forgotten. It has always been like that, I'm sad for a few days and then I'm normal again. This time it felt harder because I think I was more in love with Manhattan than in him, I was breaking up with NYC :(
After meeting him, I found out who my dream man is (all girls always claimed to have a certain type of a dream guy, I never had one). My demands are not small, not small at all actually. Or I shouldn't call it a demand, it's only what I dream of. He should have the brain of this guy (he was BY FAR the SMARTEST man I've ever met, and think I'll ever meet!). He should be super hot (just met one that has the PERFECT look, so ridiculously hot!). And he should have dreams, goals, a desire to learn more and more each day. He should have a huge heart but be careful of who he let's in and not get to close... I don't care much for guys that are all over me all the time, I seriously get claustrophobic. He should be successful in what he does but never settle for what he has, always try to get better (I'm the same).
So what do you think, will I be single forever? Haha I do think so... Ah, I don't mind :)
Food diary - Monday
As you requested, I will post what I eat today.
8 am - Started studying and didn't have time to make breakfast so I ate 200 g of pickles - 22 cals
12:30 pm - Breakfast after my 1 h powerwalk. A special kind of oatmeal that is very high in fiber (kruskakli) with low calorie applesauce. Plum juice mixed with aloe vera - 240 cals
(Half of my portion, the other half will be after my workout)
Gym workout
4 pm - Right after my workout, cardio and weights. The oatmeal from earlier with curd cream and vanilla extract. 6 pieces of egg whites - 88 cals
6 pm - Dinner with family. I replaced the huge baked potato with cauliflower mixed with curd cream. Chicken, goose, lettuce, tomatoes - 350 cals
(The small piece of goose is not on the plate at this picture)
7 pm - Dessert. I could choose from chocolate cake, ice cream and strawberries. I had strawberries and light cottage cheese - 144 cals
10 pm - Mixed snacks with my relatives that are leaving tomorrow - About 550 cals
Throughout the day I drank 4 bottles (maybe more) of water, 2 liters. (I only had water except the small amount of juice in the morning)
A total of 1400-1500 calories
My days pretty much looks like these. Some days I eat less, some more. As you can see, most of the meals are very low in calories. In that way you can eat bigger volumes and get full without unnecessary calories.
How would you take care of your Ferrari?
Just give this a thought. Lets say you have a Ferrari, how would you take care of it? You would obviously be very careful, make sure that it is in great condition, put the best fuel in it, and be proud driving it.
Now think about yourself. You have a body that is going to be with you for all your life. How do you take care of it? Do you make sure that it is in great condition? Do you put the best fuel in it? Are you proud of it?
Take care of your body as you would take care of your Ferrari. And then you'll transform your body from an old shitty car to a high class, gorgeous, head turning one!
Which one would you rather have? You don't need to work hard for the shitty one, a Ferrari wont be yours for free - but when you have it, you're so damn happy you're in it!
Now think about yourself. You have a body that is going to be with you for all your life. How do you take care of it? Do you make sure that it is in great condition? Do you put the best fuel in it? Are you proud of it?
Take care of your body as you would take care of your Ferrari. And then you'll transform your body from an old shitty car to a high class, gorgeous, head turning one!
Which one would you rather have? You don't need to work hard for the shitty one, a Ferrari wont be yours for free - but when you have it, you're so damn happy you're in it!
I'm not joking around
A powerwalk can be seriously intense! Haha my God, totally soaked!
I'm a greedy, retarded bitch looking for perfection
What should I do... Go to Mykonos for a few days or stay at home and study? I really feel like being alone right now. I've been seeing a lot of people lately which makes me feel like I need some time for myself. Though it would be nice to get some sun and relax on a beach instead of here. Kinda easy problem, I know, I'm not complaining. AAAAAH help me out, what would you do? I'm gonna go to Vegas, LA and Mexico in like two weeks so it would be a good idea to stay at home, or? I'm only young once... I should just grab the opportunities I receive and GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!
Haha I'm a retard, seriously a retard! I am a damn lucky woman! Life has blessed me with tons of stuff... And I can't even decide if I want them or not. I want it all, therefor I'm single, won't settle for anything less than perfect. Greed guys, greed!
Think I'm gonna go... I'll sleep on it!
Haha I'm a retard, seriously a retard! I am a damn lucky woman! Life has blessed me with tons of stuff... And I can't even decide if I want them or not. I want it all, therefor I'm single, won't settle for anything less than perfect. Greed guys, greed!
Think I'm gonna go... I'll sleep on it!
Stop overeating
"hey Stephanie,
I used to read your blog when you first lost weight and i must say i really admire your willpower and the fact that you exercise too! im a runner but i just dont know when to stop at dinner time! arghhh its the most frustrating thing in my life... can u please post what you eat in a typical day? pleasey please :)"
A lot of people have the same problem after dinner. I still have it. I don't know what the reason for it is, might be that you're very hungry right before dinner and don't get full after your serving. Although I think it's due to eating fast or not concentrating on the food you're eating. I use a few very easy tips to make me stop after I finished.
I don't eat the same every day, but I'll show you in another post.
I used to read your blog when you first lost weight and i must say i really admire your willpower and the fact that you exercise too! im a runner but i just dont know when to stop at dinner time! arghhh its the most frustrating thing in my life... can u please post what you eat in a typical day? pleasey please :)"
A lot of people have the same problem after dinner. I still have it. I don't know what the reason for it is, might be that you're very hungry right before dinner and don't get full after your serving. Although I think it's due to eating fast or not concentrating on the food you're eating. I use a few very easy tips to make me stop after I finished.
- Eat slowly! Take a small bite, put down your knife and fork between bites.
- Chew each bite 15-20 times. It might sound ridiculous at first, and might seem to take forever. But if you practice this, it will be natural to you after a while.
- Taste your food. Think about the flavor, appreciate what you're eating.
- Take a few sips of water after each bite, it will fill you up faster.
- Remember that it takes 20 minutes for your brain to know that it's full, therefor you should eat slowly.
- Don't watch TV or distract yourself while eating. You'll forget that you're throwing food in your mouth and when it's gone you want more because you never really felt that you were eating something.
- Make one portion only (if you're alone). If there's leftovers, put them in the freezer before you start eating.
- If you've done all of this but still crave food, drink a big glass of water and wait for a few minutes. If you still feel like eating, go out for a walk. This helps even if you feel actual hunger. When you're back, you have a clear mind and will most likely be able to stay away from overeating.
- Find out why you can't stop eating. Are you craving or are you hungry? It might be difficult to separate these two, you just need to learn it. A craving is something in your mind, emotional, stress related etc. Hunger is the empty feeling in your stomach. If you feel a mad hunger, then you should obviously eat! Grade it from one to ten, ten being insane hunger and one being full. Eat when you're at nine and practice these tips.
I don't eat the same every day, but I'll show you in another post.
Uh
I literary ran to the gym to get my work out done and now I just got ready and will go to a barbecue. I feel sick just thinking about food today so I don't think I'll eat. But I'll be there, and that's what counts.
I'm wearing my new babies that I got at Gucci a couple of days ago ♥ I got them because they are damn comfertable. I usually don't like when the brand is on what I wear... Though I just had to get these.
I'm late... DAMN!
I'm wearing my new babies that I got at Gucci a couple of days ago ♥ I got them because they are damn comfertable. I usually don't like when the brand is on what I wear... Though I just had to get these.
I'm late... DAMN!
Stressed sunday
Gosh, time flies! I have a million things to do and I wish the day had more hours. Even though I'm kinda stressed about things, there's no way I'm skipping my workout. So I just finished a 60 minute intense powerwalk and will now take the car to go find a stupid cord to my TV that I ripped apart yesterday. Then I have to finish a test for school, run to the gym to run even more, go back home and study. Write a list of all the numbers I need to call tomorrow morning so I can get out of some trouble and then study even more and then hopefully have time to do a barbeque with my relatives that are visiting from England and Poland. I don't think I'll be very social with my mac and school books, but I really need to study!
Olivia's graduation, starting from left - My aunt, cousin, Olivia, aunt, uncle, me, Olivia's dad, Helen, aunt, my mom.
Olivia's graduation, starting from left - My aunt, cousin, Olivia, aunt, uncle, me, Olivia's dad, Helen, aunt, my mom.
I'm taking a break!
I've been having to much fun lately and I really need to focus on myself and my own wellbeing which in someway I've been forgetting. My personality is kinda like day and night, I tend to be a "people pleaser" for those I love, I love with every part of my heart but wouldn't lift a finger for someone I don't care for too much. I want to say that I'm not pleasing myself at the moment, and actually don't lift a finger for myself - In a way it's wrong and misleading. I love every opportunity that I can grab within a few inches away from me, something that most people can't... This is something I can not tell you more about, but honestly, I could stop studying today and never have to work ever in my life. This is not what I want! It is fun to live in a "dream world" sometimes but I forget about myself, my soul, just live in a dream all day.
Anyhow, this is getting blurry... As much as I love spending a ridiculous amount of money on Gucci and drink champagne all day, I miss taking care of who I am. I need to get back in my own skin.
I was supposed to go on a vacation to Mykonos next week (read: champagne, party, shopping...). I will cancel it and just take care of myself, have a vacation for me! My vacation will be - healthy food, water, saved money, studying, library visits, gym visits... Honestly, I can't wait for it to start! I'll start NOW!
Not gonna happen!
Ah, my vacation!
Don't be surprised if I get frustrated and go to Mykonos anyway... but only for a day or two.
Anyhow, this is getting blurry... As much as I love spending a ridiculous amount of money on Gucci and drink champagne all day, I miss taking care of who I am. I need to get back in my own skin.
I was supposed to go on a vacation to Mykonos next week (read: champagne, party, shopping...). I will cancel it and just take care of myself, have a vacation for me! My vacation will be - healthy food, water, saved money, studying, library visits, gym visits... Honestly, I can't wait for it to start! I'll start NOW!
Not gonna happen!
Ah, my vacation!
Don't be surprised if I get frustrated and go to Mykonos anyway... but only for a day or two.
Be skinny
I love a cup of green tea! It contains lots of antioxidants and it so good for you that there's no excuse not to drink it. It is said that 5 cups a day boost you metabolism amongst other great healthy benefits.
Before breakfast, make one cup of green tea and drink it when you get up. Our body detoxifies during the night and that cup in the morning gives it it's last helping push before the day starts.
The caffein in the green tea induces thermogenesis and stimulates fat oxidation, great huh? You'll pee out the fat!
A great tip - Make a big pot of green tea in the morning and let it cool down. Pour it into plastic (or glass if you won't carry it around) bottles and drink it whenever you get thirsty.
Do you hate green tea? Get used to it! Or put in a small no calorie sweetener in your cup to make the flavour less bitter.
No excuses!
Still in bed
TGIF! Why would I care anyway?
Hey kids, I tried to wake up early today but that didn't work. My dad just called me and laughed because he woke me up at 10:30. Anyway, I'll have to pull myself out of the bed and head out for a run. No rain today so I'll skip the gym.
Run, run, run, run! Don't have time for more than 1h today.
Hey kids, I tried to wake up early today but that didn't work. My dad just called me and laughed because he woke me up at 10:30. Anyway, I'll have to pull myself out of the bed and head out for a run. No rain today so I'll skip the gym.
Run, run, run, run! Don't have time for more than 1h today.
Happy :)
Hmm, now I just have to figure out how to pay my rent when I put 6 months of it in Gucci and Mulberry. Oh well, I always find a way :)
Weight loss blog...
This is a blog that's mostly about weight loss... Therefor I write about it, get it?
Some are just retarded. Thank God I have a lot of awesome readers too!
Eggs instead of foie gras
I had a breakfast made of 3 or 4 eggwhites and some cottage cheese, which is less than 200 calories and is very filling! Just got out of the shower and need to get ready and then head out to hopefully have dinner at a fancy restaurant later. The key to weight loss is obviously to eat less than you burn off. So you could go eat at McDonald's every day and lose weight, which everyone can agree on is not the best way. But if I'm going to have a nice dinner and be social, this will include a glass of wine... And if foie gras is on the meny... it will be mine! That is what I've been missing the most about NYC, foie gras in the morning, foie gras for lunch, foie gras for dinner. I never even cared that it containes about 400-500 calories per 100 gram. If you have 3 servings, it's 1500 calories and then you run a little and lose weight anyway! haha silly I know... But it's just about making choices, have one thing but stay away from the other, find a balance!
-2.6 kg.... how?
Good morning! Remember I said I had 8 kg to lose? it's down to 5.6, yaaay! This is going to go faaaast!
Time for a run! 10 km then I'm back! It's going to be a very interesting day...
Time for a run! 10 km then I'm back! It's going to be a very interesting day...
Let me fall asleep, pleeease!
Riiiidiculous! Can't sleep. Last night I slept like 3 hours in Stockholm and had to study on the train so I haven't slept more than that. Now I'm in bed, trying to be tired but it seems impossible, somethings wrong with me bed or apartment. Or maybe I just sleep a hell of a lot better next to the one I spent the weekend with, we slept like 12 hours a night (!). Anyway, this week is going to kill me, though in a good way. Things are damn stressed with everything, which might be a reason why I can't sleep. Relatives are coming from all over and I might have to go away for a few days tomorrow until friday, I sooo hope it wont mess up my diet! Just have to be determined. I even said no to a Vegas trip next week because I have so much in school, that sucked but there was really never any choice... My studies are one of my highest priorities now, nothing can come in my way!
Uh, I'll try again... Good night cuties ♥
Uh, I'll try again... Good night cuties ♥
Why is thin not okay?
Thank you for your comments and mails. It's very disturbing to hear that so many get controlled by society in the way that we can not look the way we want to. In some cities, it's normal to be slim, and the wish to be thinner is "okay". But in some cities, often small towns, a person that slims down is called "unhealthy, dangerous, ugly" and so on... Mostly I think this is the result of jealousy, the lack of determination amongst others cause a big urge to talk bad about someone that actually can restrict themselves and not give in to temptation with a goal of inner and outer wellbeing.
Why is it so wrong to love yourself when you have a certain weight? Why does this have to be wrong?
I most definitely think that this is a start for a possible eating disorder.
Due to that people called me too skinny a few months back, I got furious because I felt so great, I loved every part of myself. This made me confused about myself and also with food. I gained a little weight and hate it.
I am not anorexic, pro-anorexic or whatever, I just want to feel good, be healthy and LOVE myself, is that too much to ask for?
This is a subject that breaks my heart, it really does. I can't tell you how many mails I've got from young girls that got teased about their weight and developed an eating disorder. For me to read this crushes my soul in to tiny pieces and I wish, oh I wish, that I had a solution to this. Something that would stop this problem. The power to make society think it's fine to lose weight, be thin and healthy.
Don't lose against other people, fight back and be the one you want to be! It's your body and the most important thing in life is to take care of it. You will meet a lot of people in life that has an opinion about it. But you won't live with them for all of your life... but your body is with you forever. Never forget that your the most important person in your life, you should make yourself your first priority.
Why is it so wrong to love yourself when you have a certain weight? Why does this have to be wrong?
I most definitely think that this is a start for a possible eating disorder.
Due to that people called me too skinny a few months back, I got furious because I felt so great, I loved every part of myself. This made me confused about myself and also with food. I gained a little weight and hate it.
I am not anorexic, pro-anorexic or whatever, I just want to feel good, be healthy and LOVE myself, is that too much to ask for?
This is a subject that breaks my heart, it really does. I can't tell you how many mails I've got from young girls that got teased about their weight and developed an eating disorder. For me to read this crushes my soul in to tiny pieces and I wish, oh I wish, that I had a solution to this. Something that would stop this problem. The power to make society think it's fine to lose weight, be thin and healthy.
Don't lose against other people, fight back and be the one you want to be! It's your body and the most important thing in life is to take care of it. You will meet a lot of people in life that has an opinion about it. But you won't live with them for all of your life... but your body is with you forever. Never forget that your the most important person in your life, you should make yourself your first priority.
A new challenge
I've been drinking too much wine and had too much candy lately, things are about to change! Yesterday I had my last piece of candy, saturday was the last day I had wine. The stuff that is around my waist is going away, quick! I miss the feeling of very loose fitting clothes is a super small size. The possibility to wear whatever you want and feel great about it. When I was at my lowest weight, I had so many people agains me, saying that I was way to thin. Even the doctor said that I had to gain back some weight for my body to function properly. With a BMI of 16 something, I felt great but my life got complicated in some ways which I will keep to myself. When the doctor said I had to gain weight, I listened to my body and added on the pounds, but I have too many now!
I've made a few mistakes before, but to be able to grow as a human and not step on the same spot over and over again, you need to learn from them. This is what I have done, I know my body, I know how it reacts to pretty much everything. Therefor, there's no need to be scared about my decision. Instead, be thrilled about my challenge, I'll share it with you! It will be like a deja vu from last year when I went hardcore and lost a significant amount of weight
I know that this might itch in some eyes but let me compare this with someone that's into fitness. During "offseason" they weigh much more to later lose the weight and look awesome. Let me yet again compare these two. I am not looking for a size to keep for only a few months, this is long-term. To be honest, I hate my body when it's a little bigger, it's really depressing. So this is what I do for myself, ONLY FOR ME! Everyone that has a negative opinion about this, please keep your mouth shut, seriously.
Some people lose weight because they wish for acceptance from society. This had never been the case for me. Therefor I'm furious that I gained weight to make other people satisfied.
I've been given this powerful fix again, now I will use it!
The weight loss will hopefully be quick, I'm using a diet that will melt me down. Every day, I will weigh myself and report it here. I weight myself for the first time in months last friday, the scale showed that I wish for a 8 kg loss.
Here we go! Take me back to my last year body!
I've made a few mistakes before, but to be able to grow as a human and not step on the same spot over and over again, you need to learn from them. This is what I have done, I know my body, I know how it reacts to pretty much everything. Therefor, there's no need to be scared about my decision. Instead, be thrilled about my challenge, I'll share it with you! It will be like a deja vu from last year when I went hardcore and lost a significant amount of weight
I know that this might itch in some eyes but let me compare this with someone that's into fitness. During "offseason" they weigh much more to later lose the weight and look awesome. Let me yet again compare these two. I am not looking for a size to keep for only a few months, this is long-term. To be honest, I hate my body when it's a little bigger, it's really depressing. So this is what I do for myself, ONLY FOR ME! Everyone that has a negative opinion about this, please keep your mouth shut, seriously.
Some people lose weight because they wish for acceptance from society. This had never been the case for me. Therefor I'm furious that I gained weight to make other people satisfied.
I've been given this powerful fix again, now I will use it!
The weight loss will hopefully be quick, I'm using a diet that will melt me down. Every day, I will weigh myself and report it here. I weight myself for the first time in months last friday, the scale showed that I wish for a 8 kg loss.
Here we go! Take me back to my last year body!
Finally here
I have arrived in Stockholm! My legs are so swollen it looks like I've gained 10 pounds on the train. My stomach hurts and my eyes are red due to the lack of sleep. Even though I look and feel like shit, I'm happy!
I'm waiting at the central station to meet T and then get rid of my huuuuge bag (I'm only staying for the weekend, but needed clothing options). After that we're going to get some wine and enjoy it somewhere outside, LOVE IT! Feels like I'll be falling asleep in a few minutes.
I'm kinda hungry but the only things I see here are pastry, like cinnamon rolls (my favorite) and McDonalds... So I'll guess I'll get something very unhealthy for lunch - a coffee and a cigarette!
Urge for something new
I'm on my way to the city I fell in love with a few years ago. At the age of 16, I took my first steps in Stockholm and the love blossomed. A few years went by and I was a frequent visitor with the urge of excitement to fill my life, yet again, the love blossomed. At the age of 18, I went with my best friend and soul mate T to make way for both of our future. We had no place to stay, neither did we know how to fix it when I said "let's make some calls" and then we had a great dinner and a place to stay. This gave birth to a side of me that had been hidden inside for years, fighting to come out, though in some wrong ways during my teen years. My soul mate went to New York City and I stayed in Sweden for a while, knowing I wanted to do something just as crazy, this time would come shortly.
I enjoyed my time in Stockholm but like with everything, I got bored. I left Sweden and went to the US all by myself, with hopes of breathing in a fresh breath of excitement. Excitement I got, without a doubt, though I didn't fall in love with America at that time. Florida was cool, can't say that it gave me butterflies but the danger I got myself into made me addicted. Like a drug I kept on trying to find new ways to get my fix. I went all over Europe and sometimes cried my eyes out on the flight back, due to fear and due to love for that lifestyle.
The fear of what could happen to me grew stronger and I stayed away from going anywhere, Sweden was my home, I wanted to stay there. As time passed, I got bored again and missed the excitement of not knowing what could happen. This time I went to where my soul mate had been when I was in Stockholm, I went to New York City.
As soon as I entered Manhattan, I knew why she was so deeply in love with the city. I fell in love, instantly! There's something about the air in Manhattan that can not be described, it is polluted, dirty yet so wonderful, addictive. My fix was total. I was on the biggest trip in my head and in my life. I kept asking myself how it could be possible that I got to experience this life, it was more than I ever dreamed of.
A year later, I said goodbye to Manhattan and broke up with the love I had for the city. I was sad, upset but with a tiny tough of hope that something bigger was waiting around the corner. Something bigger is waiting. I got to realize that the city isn't as glistering and glamorous when you learn about all of the hard work it takes to stay there. Some say that I didn't have to do anything to live that life. Let me tell you, you couldn't be more wrong! This way my most dangerous trip ever. During the year, my life was almost lost due to some things I had to give up to still live in a "glamorous world". Excitement is what keeps me breathing, though excitement almost made my breathing stop.
I'm quite sure of where I am now and what I'm doing. A few years of a ridiculously insane lifestyle opened my eyes. I'm no longer drawn to a serious danger... though the urge for excitement still is my addiction.
So on the train to Stockholm, where it all started, might be a step in another direction. Might be that I find a new type of air to breath. A fresh, crisp, new addiction.
I so need to sleep now, haven't slept at all in forever... That's why I'm talking rubbish.
When I wake up, I'll be back in Stockholm :D
I enjoyed my time in Stockholm but like with everything, I got bored. I left Sweden and went to the US all by myself, with hopes of breathing in a fresh breath of excitement. Excitement I got, without a doubt, though I didn't fall in love with America at that time. Florida was cool, can't say that it gave me butterflies but the danger I got myself into made me addicted. Like a drug I kept on trying to find new ways to get my fix. I went all over Europe and sometimes cried my eyes out on the flight back, due to fear and due to love for that lifestyle.
The fear of what could happen to me grew stronger and I stayed away from going anywhere, Sweden was my home, I wanted to stay there. As time passed, I got bored again and missed the excitement of not knowing what could happen. This time I went to where my soul mate had been when I was in Stockholm, I went to New York City.
As soon as I entered Manhattan, I knew why she was so deeply in love with the city. I fell in love, instantly! There's something about the air in Manhattan that can not be described, it is polluted, dirty yet so wonderful, addictive. My fix was total. I was on the biggest trip in my head and in my life. I kept asking myself how it could be possible that I got to experience this life, it was more than I ever dreamed of.
A year later, I said goodbye to Manhattan and broke up with the love I had for the city. I was sad, upset but with a tiny tough of hope that something bigger was waiting around the corner. Something bigger is waiting. I got to realize that the city isn't as glistering and glamorous when you learn about all of the hard work it takes to stay there. Some say that I didn't have to do anything to live that life. Let me tell you, you couldn't be more wrong! This way my most dangerous trip ever. During the year, my life was almost lost due to some things I had to give up to still live in a "glamorous world". Excitement is what keeps me breathing, though excitement almost made my breathing stop.
I'm quite sure of where I am now and what I'm doing. A few years of a ridiculously insane lifestyle opened my eyes. I'm no longer drawn to a serious danger... though the urge for excitement still is my addiction.
So on the train to Stockholm, where it all started, might be a step in another direction. Might be that I find a new type of air to breath. A fresh, crisp, new addiction.
I so need to sleep now, haven't slept at all in forever... That's why I'm talking rubbish.
When I wake up, I'll be back in Stockholm :D
Stockholm in a few
Yaaaay I'm happy! I have Spotify again and I'm going back to Stockholm in a few hours! Small things can make me very happy as you see (spotify). Uh, tommorow I'm meating my beautiful, awesome, amazing best friend, T! Going to hug her harder than ever and then I'm going to kiss, kiss, kiss, KISS someone else for the rest of the weekend... Not going to leave the apartment, that's for sure! Oh God I can't wait! Need to pack now, leaving in 3 hours. I'm totally fine with my insomnia now...
Hmm... what should I bring?
Hmm... what should I bring?
Protein
I got three hours of sleep! Yaay!
I've been studying all day because I have two exams that need to be sent in tomorrow, gosh it's hard to study today without sleep. Though it's not the only reason that I can't concentrate... someone made me think about something else and now I'm walking around like a cat, caressing everything that comes in my way. Uh, I won't talk more about that, some readers might be kids.
I usually love to find new healthy recipes but I am sooooo sick of food right now, never hated food more! The only thing that can enter my stomach is a protein shake. So I'll from now on live on them until I'm ready for something else. I've had two so far today, I got the taste of "crushed bones" in my mouth... even though I love this brand.
The vanilla flavor is sooo delicious! Tastes like ice cream :) This brand is expensive, might be the one you have to pay the most for (?). I got the big bucket of 3.5 kg strawberry so I have a lot of drinking to do. I want vanilla!
Protein is the number one key to successful weight loss! If you skip it, you'll lose muscle and look like shit, trust me!
I've been studying all day because I have two exams that need to be sent in tomorrow, gosh it's hard to study today without sleep. Though it's not the only reason that I can't concentrate... someone made me think about something else and now I'm walking around like a cat, caressing everything that comes in my way. Uh, I won't talk more about that, some readers might be kids.
I usually love to find new healthy recipes but I am sooooo sick of food right now, never hated food more! The only thing that can enter my stomach is a protein shake. So I'll from now on live on them until I'm ready for something else. I've had two so far today, I got the taste of "crushed bones" in my mouth... even though I love this brand.
The vanilla flavor is sooo delicious! Tastes like ice cream :) This brand is expensive, might be the one you have to pay the most for (?). I got the big bucket of 3.5 kg strawberry so I have a lot of drinking to do. I want vanilla!
Protein is the number one key to successful weight loss! If you skip it, you'll lose muscle and look like shit, trust me!
Studying made me sleepy!
I picked up my school books a while ago, and all of a sudden I felt sleepy, isn't that something?
I have to study, I have a lot to do and when I decide to finish it I want to sleep... God!
I have to study, I have a lot to do and when I decide to finish it I want to sleep... God!
Cocaine?
I wonder if I have been in a cloud of cocaine this week...? If so, I would have a reason for my insomnia.
Not likely.
Not likely.
Still sleepless
Almost 4 am, still no sleep, still no sign of future sleep.
Oh well, I'm listening to beautiful music. My favorite, Mozart!
I love all types of classical music but prefer when the focus is on the piano, which makes this my all time favorite piece.
Oh come on, you can call me a geek if you want! I may look like I'm in my twenties, but my mind, soul and spirit is much older. I'm sure that my great, great, great (and so on) grandmother was reborn in me, involuntarily. I know that I was born in the wrong century, like some people think they are born in the wrong body... or maybe not that serious... But you know...
Anyway, Pjotr Tjajkovskij said that Mozart was the Christ of music. I couldn't agree more!
03:56 am... My eyes are wide open and the sun is getting up. I'm going out for a walk that will hopefully get me a little tired. Not much is going to get done here anyway.
Oh well, I'm listening to beautiful music. My favorite, Mozart!
I love all types of classical music but prefer when the focus is on the piano, which makes this my all time favorite piece.
Oh come on, you can call me a geek if you want! I may look like I'm in my twenties, but my mind, soul and spirit is much older. I'm sure that my great, great, great (and so on) grandmother was reborn in me, involuntarily. I know that I was born in the wrong century, like some people think they are born in the wrong body... or maybe not that serious... But you know...
Anyway, Pjotr Tjajkovskij said that Mozart was the Christ of music. I couldn't agree more!
03:56 am... My eyes are wide open and the sun is getting up. I'm going out for a walk that will hopefully get me a little tired. Not much is going to get done here anyway.
This is ridiculous...
I haven't been sleeping a whole night in over a week. I usually stay away from sleeping pills due to the simple reason that I wish not to be addicted. But during many nights, I've been awake for hours and then had to give in and take a pill. I fall asleep fast but wake up just as fast again. I'm yawning and feel dead tired but I STILL CANT SLEEP! What's wrong with me? It's almost 3 am when I type this, I normally fall asleep before midnight. Oh god I'm sick of it, and I need to "get up" in little more than 3 hours. My total sleep this week is no more than about... 5 hours... the whole week. I've tried everything possible but nothing works. Even tried to eat more, which I don't want! Honestly though, couldn't care less if I gained a pound or two, just let me sleep. Sure I'm kinda stressed about stuff now, but don't feel that it's the worst time ever, what to do?
Hmm, maximum strength for sure... you fall asleep fast but wake up after an hour...
