Stephanie Andersson

Hmm.. I found out why I'm not losing weight. My body has lost 3% fat and got replaced by 3% muscle mass. Muscle weighs more than fat so that's why everything stood still. Earlier today, I took out the measuring tape and found out that I've lost 2 cm around my waist since only a week ago. So i'm a bit more calm now :)

I need to go hardcore again, my weight is the same and NOTHING happens. I just have to go back to my old habits, you much think that I'm stupid but to not bullshit you there's no other way to lose weight then to eat close to nothing... Otherwise I could lose 1 kg a year... I'm not in it for that little. So, every morning before I do anything else, I'll start running again. Today 5 laps, tomorrow 6 and so on until 10 laps and then I'll have one day off. My diet will be more than 200 cals a day, so I wont go that much hardcore. A lot of coffee and green tea, combined with detox juice and a complete veggie diet, no meat! I have a lot of exciting modeling opportunities coming up and I want to look perfect! Say whatever you want, it's my body and it's supposed to be thinner while modeling... If I would want to work with something else I could be fat, it wouldn't matter. 

On a saturday night, I'm "googleing" Babylon...

I went to a park nearby where I live to enjoy the amazingly beautiful weather, I laid in a bikini and when I was about to leave I hear "NAAAJ NAAAJ NAAAAJ" which basically means "NOOO" haha so that was funny :) Glad that people enjoy me being there, and then I went home and continued getting things in order. A piece of chicken is getting ready in the pan and in a few minutes it's The City on MTV. I've seen every episode like 5 times but I loooooove it so much that I get excited every time it comes on tv. 

I'm going to Amandas 20th birtday party tonight, it will be great :)

Mmmmm... dinner for today. Veggie burger which is not made from scratch by myself, sallad, sugarsnaps, cucumber, pepper, olives, low fat cheese. And of course a glass of pink bubbles :)

My apartment is white/beige, not colorful. So I did something about it to make it look more inviting... and went for cerise. But I didn't stop there, because I love every inch of myself and you don't, I thought that I could help you control your anger against my belly button so I made it look happier :) I think that it deserves it after 4 piercings.

This is how my apartment looks in the morning...

I'm in my new apartment, I'll update you later :)

Uh, it's late and I have to get some sleep. Before I turn off the lights I wanted to share an awesome band with you, they are called "Painted Voice" and I went to school with one of the guys in first grade. Check them out :D

I decided not to write about my diet and exercise, basically because I push myself more than anyone should. I am not super healthy anymore, although I still eat... It's not as much as I should. I have my goal, as soon as I reach it, I will add more calories to my diet to keep my ideal weight. I don't want anyone to hurt themselves and this morning, after I posted two things about my diet, I realized that I was almost crossing the thin line to become insanely obsessed about my weight after living on less than 300 cals for a time. That is NOT OKAY and it made me depressed to the point where I didn't even have the energy to get out of bed after nights of insomnia. Don't hurt yourself! I won't do this to myself anymore, I will still lose weight, but I wont push it too far this time. Everyone deserves to be happy and feel great about themselves, I LOVE myself today but sometimes I'm just stupid! That won't happen again, promise!

So let me tell you what I did today...

I wonder if there is a tiny, tiny, tiny part of you that understands that losing weight for me is just as hard as it is for anyone else?! I am not wonderwoman, I haven't had any liposurgery, I don't take pills. I am a human being that is trying not to eat after 6 pm, avoiding sugar and unhealthy fat, working out everyday... Do you think that it's weird that I've lost weight? Come on guys! Stop complaining, you're your best friend and also your worst enemy and only YOU can change yourself, no one else can do it for you! At the moment, I want to eat apple pie, brownies, chocolate, candy... I want to eat that every night... but what would happen if I did? I would be fat! Nothing is more true, sorry! So I eat my sugary apple pie or whatever sometimes, and I sometimes eat after 6 pm... But if I do so twice or three times a month, nothing happens. That's the "secret" guys... It's as simple as that!

My jeans hunt ended at Forever 21 where I found a pair in size 26 but wanted a 25 which they didn't have. I got the bigger size and thought that they would fit, well... they don't. I've worn them once and tried them on today when I was going to my apartment for a few minutes and I had to pull them up like ten times before I even got there, and my apartment is five minutes away from where I am now. 

I will get myself a membership at Friskis & Svettis tomorrow which is a gym with aerobics, spinning, dance classes, yoga and more. It sucks that I can't run anymore, my knees hurt to much and that's the main reason why I decide to start working out at the gym instead, the other reason is that I want to tone my body too, not only lose weight, but get a nice shaped body, because now I don't have anything... 

So, let me tell you about my New York trip...

I'm going home in a few hours, THAT SUCKS!

I've been hunting jeans for days but can't find a single pair that I think is perfect, I'm very picky when it comes to jeans. But one GREAT thing is that I have size 25-26 now.... aaaaaaaawesome! I went from 29-30 to this. They didn't even have a jean size 25 at Forever 21. I will keep on searching today and hopefully I'll find a pair. They have Seven and Paper denim jeans at Century 21 for like 50 dollars, thats insanely cheap! Since I have a flat but, and will always have, it's even more difficult to find a good pair... oh well nothing is perfect. I'm going to drink my coffee and get some clothes on and head out for my jeans hunt! I've been shopping too much here! Imagine if I would live in NYC... But I will do that someday, just have to get filthy rich first!

Heeeeey kids!
I'm in NYC and I LOVE it here. The sun is shining and I'm going out for a run and shopping later today.
We went to Central Park last saturday and saw the most amazing people ever, it would be fun to have them in Helsingborg... so that everybody doesn't look the same... I'm going to tell you EVERYTHING when I come back. So check back this weekend and I'll tell you about my second New York City visit :)

I'm going to New York in less than 6 hours. My goal is reached! Goodbye 10 kg, I don't ever want to see you again!

Here's something funny, yet very annoying when it happened. I've been feeling like a fat cow all day and that i've gained every kilo again, although I've lost 9.7 this morning. I was in a horrible mood and felt like picking up a fight with anyone that annoyed me when I walked down the street. And when I got my extensions done I felt worse because I looked huge in the full body mirror in front of me, yet I know that I'm not huge anymore. I went back home and took a shower to wake up and wash bad thoughts away, got in the car and drove to Väla to find a pair of black jeans. I feared the outcome before I even got there and I was certain that my size wouldn't be smaller than a jean size 28 or a clothing size 38. I first tried on a pair of jeanleggings, which are extremely unflattering but I was surprised that I could wear a XS. I put them back and walked by a normal pair of jeans in a size 27, I picked them up and held them in front of me. They were very small and I just laughed quietly and thought to myself that I would try them on and see how many inches I would have to lose to get them on. To my surprise, they were too big! I couldn't even wear a size 27, I'm now a 26. To be certain, I went to another shop and tried a pair of 27 and 26 on from another brand, the same thing there, size 26! I felt that it was time to give up and just admit that I am smaller than I look like. But here's another scenario - in H&M I searched for the black jeans and didn't find any until I got to the department where everything was on sale. I found a pair in the clothing size 34 and they were veeeeeery tiny and I said that there's NO WAY that I even can get them up to my knees. In the fitting room, I zipped the jeans and they fit...

 

Wooooooooooow he would go out with me if I just work harder! I'm sorry but the only thing I'm doing is laughing harder! 

"My visit in New York city ended yesterday afternoon. In a sunny Manhattan I jumped into a cab and left the breathtaking city behind me, the city that had brought tears to my eyes, not of sorrow but of pure joy. Heading to the Newark airport I felt blessed and lucky, with a gentle breeze from the big city air I knew that I was about to visit a level in my life that has yet been anonymous and far away, but is now closer than ever. My heartbeats remind me of what I shall do, each and every breath is a step towards my goal, I know my purpose and I will serve myself with grace, strength and real life dreams.

Good morning guys,

Helloooooo my gorgeous friends and enemies!