Imagine if I had a beard
Sexy!
Behind the scenes of my work
Pics from making the musicvideo with Sarah Dawn Finer.
Pics from making the trailer for TV4, check out my outfit! haha ;D They had snakes and scorpions in a few scenes but lucky me didn't have to work with them.
Party and work
It's almost 2 pm and I'm sooo tired because I went out last night. But I cant allow myself to be tired today, I'm doing something for TV4, it will be a trailer for a new show but I cant tell you more than that. 
Pic from yesterday at Café Opera by finest.se
Time to go out and work! I dont care if I'm tired, going to work with a green screen today which is a great and new experience, it will be fun :)
Pic from yesterday at Café Opera by finest.se
Time to go out and work! I dont care if I'm tired, going to work with a green screen today which is a great and new experience, it will be fun :)
Second day in Stockholm
I've spent my day in low shoes walking around and going everywhere. I went by mno and checked out new Sabre glasses, sooo cool! I also fell in love with several pieces from "Rules by Mary", love that brand!
Sabre
Awesome tee's
Rules by Mary
Sixteen minutes of fame
mno rocks!
Sabre
Awesome tee's
Rules by Mary
Sixteen minutes of fame
mno rocks!
Making of the video
Here's a few pics from yesterday. Everyone was great and I had fun. Sarah sings like an angel!
I got these pics from Jayson, awesome guy! I have a few on my camera but it's always trouble uploading them, but I will fix it :)
Great but painful day
The making of the video was a lot of fun but I've learned that I should wear very very very comfortable shoes. I swear that my feet has never ever been in so much pain, it is crazy! I almost crawled back home, seriously! I will put a few pics up later, but now I have to work on another thing... I fail in growing money trees so I have to make them by myself. Maybe I should grow marijuana, that's like an money plant.. isn't it?
Miss Stephanie - Fails in growing money-trees but succeeds in killing her feet
I'm in Stockholm
After a shitty bus ride, I'm in Stockholm and it's now time for me to become a model and go and be in a musicvideo!
My fridge
The sound is not great, but would you really care?
Packing, for what?
I'm packing... But I don't know what to pack because I don't know where I'll go. Tonight it's Stockholm, two musicvideo shoots and on Thursday I'm going to Turkey for a few days. Back in Stockholm on Monday and back to Helsingborg to walk on Copenhagen fashion week on Friday. Back to Stockholm on Saturday to go on a casting for a charity fashion show on Sunday. And then I'll have to do a few photo shoots and agency castings and another musicvideo. Everything is happening so fast, but I love it!
Fashion week
This is freaking me out! I might walk on the Copenhagen fashion week, could I be happier?
I never thought that I could be a runway model, but I've always dreamed of becoming one... My dream is coming true!
No cookies for me! ;D
The sun is shining on me
This is crazy, just got another job! On monday I will be in a musicvideo for Sarah Dawn Finer :)
This is really not what I've expected, but it's awesome! Lucky me :)
F*ck!
This is great... I wanted to go to Stockholm today and the "last minute" tickets for today and tomorrow are out and the others cost half of my rent. The train to Stockholm is less than 5 hours and it's quite comfortable. But nooo I can't take the train and be in Stockholm today so I'm going tomorrow night with THE BUS! That will take me a little longer than 7 hours and I will have pain in my whole body because of the terrible seats, and I will for sure end up next to a huge smelly guy that is a little too much interested in me when I sleep, that has happened when I took the bus other times. And the best thing is that the ticket cost a lot anyway! Stupid train, bus and ticket shit... But I have to go to Stockholm, so I have no choice but to shut the hell up and deal with it. I'm in Stockholm on monday morning.
Musicvideo
Hard work pays off! I'm going to be in a music video and we'll do it on tuesday in Stockholm, that will be so much fun :) The video will be shown in Sweden and Germany. Woho!
Video from a photoshoot I did a while ago with Patrik Book and Johan Hiller
I GOT A TATTOO
I just woke up and found out that I got a tattoo last night! And it's awful! What was I thinking?
No, just kidding, it's the fucking stamp from Cardinal and I was upset when I got it... it's so trashy to go around with a huge stamp like that. And I guess it's going to be difficult as usual to get it off my skin. Cardinal has marked me... What am I, a cow? Anyway, I'm a little hungover today, but not much... I actually had fun last night! No megalomania for me! (Just a little) But I hate really drunk people, which there were a lot of last night... yuk! Sometimes I feel like I'm so fed up with all of this, going out, having drinks, dancing and so on... and I just want to slow down, get married, have kids and don't go crazy... baby are you up for it? ;) No not yet, maybe when I'm 30.
Showeeeeeer to get the nasty stamp off my arm!
Good night, we're out!
We're out!
Party on... or?
I feel like I'm out of energy today, don't know why... But I cant allow myself to be tired today, Anna is coming over in a few hours and then we'll go down to the festival that's in town and go on a carousel! Later on we'll end up at a club somewhere, I guess it's going to be Cardinal as usual, It's been a while since I've been there.
Now I have to go to a shopping center and get a big bag for all my traveling, I really need it! But my god they are expensive.. the ones I want. Blaaaaaa I need to go now!
#7
Forgot to show you this, I'm in the summer issue of Moore called "swedens hottest singels" or something. 2 years in a row, I've been on #11, but this year I climbed up to #7. So I'm officially the 7th hottest single in Sweden. Greedy as I am, I want to be #1. But it's cool anyway :)
Check out next issue of Moore, I'm in that too!
And something else, I have 1 kg left until I've reached my dream weight! That's even more cool! ;D
Funny...
Isn't this funny? I keep talking about diet and weight loss and then google puts this on my blog...
"Eating Disorder treatment"
Thanks google!
Carrot juice
One thing I really love is carrot juice! This one contains nothing but carrots, no sugar or anything bad!
I drink it every day :) Don't drink too much though, you might get a orange skin tone!
It's time for dinner and then back to work!
Afterparty, which means cleaning party
I've had my first "moving-in" party today and it was great. The not so great part is to clean everything up, without a dishwasher, and I also have to go and pick up my laundry which I don't feel like doing... but I have to.
You should see the kitchen, it's like there's been a war!
It's here!
My couch is here and I put it together myself!
Going to pick up Olivia and then search for a table at IKEA
I'm leaving
All I've been doing in Helsingborg is trying to find work and just wait for people to answer my mails. I've got a few modeling jobs, which is awesome but I want more than that, I want to have something going on all the time. And by sitting on my ass in Helsingborg, making phone calls and sending mails, wont take me as far as I want to go. So, I'm going to Stockholm for a few months and I'm leaving on saturday. I have two castings so far, one on sunday and one on monday. I will go from agency to agency, work my ass off and become what I want to be. I know that I can do it! And I know that it will be so fucking hard, I will cry, I will think that I want to quit, but I wont!
Get ready for me Stockholm!
Last night
Don't be as retarded as me
I am retarded, I really am. I'm in my bed reading blogs and I feel fat, I feel like I'm enormous. I stumble over a few "pro-ana" blogs, that's like girls trying to become anorexic (that's retarded). I don't get that, why do people want to become anorexic? I have a fucked up body image, I feel like I'm bigger than everyone else, which I'm not. Bones are poking out and I can't even do sit ups on the floor because my spine pokes out too much, when I sit on a chair, I can't do it for too long because my butbones(?) hurt. I know that I'm small enough, but I still feel fat! That's why I'm retarded, and I'm working on that! I try to tell myself everyday that I look good and that my body is good enough and I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to become anorexic, that's pure hell and I've been walking on that thin line. If I didn't eat like a pig at times, I would have a severe eating disorder, for sure! When I look in the mirror I see someone that's huge, so I take photos of myself (like the one below) and I don't suck my stomach in, it's really how I look... I observe the photos for a while and realize that I'm not fat. But after a while, I feel fat again... What I want to say is that don't be as retarded as me. Girls and boys, take care of yourself and DONT try to adopt the lifestyle of an anorexic, do not try to become one. My mind is fucked up and I don't want anyone else to be like that. Losing weight fast and at the same time trying to avoid getting an eating disorder is difficult. And let me tell you something else, the "pro-ana" bloggers are only fat girls dreaming of becoming super skinny, they are not who you want to be!
I'm going to take my retarded bony ass and go get something to eat!
Last night
Let me tell you about last night, oh god.. I think I have megalomania. The evening started at Annas place, we drank a little wine and then went to Båstad where they had the last event for the Tennisweek. Everyone that's someone ended it last friday and then got back to wherever they come from and the "wannabes" was there last night. When I say that I have megalomania I mean that I was complaining about everything when everybody had a great time, just because they can't get in to that club during other nights. At the entrance, there was no list! And I had to stay in line and then pay to get in and everyone could get in! I'm sorry but that's just not the way I like to party...
If I'm going to drink a lot of calories, make my liver work harder and spend money, I don't want to do it with teens and people that normally stay in a line for hours to get in somewhere. In what way would that make me climb the ladder of success? I'm just going to fall down from the ladder. When I am at the top, I'm just saying "Yeah, this is nice, but now what?" so you can just guess how frustrated I was last night...
Anyway, so during the night, one guy came in with one bottle of Cristal and everyone went crazy and could almost kill to get a glass. It was scary! He was standing at a stage with this bottle, people were screaming and holding their glasses up high so that they might have a few drops of the champagne. I didn't even drink my glass because it made me crazy just watching that freakshow. I was wet because of all the people spilling drinks over me, so I went out on the terrace and sat down. There I was almost raped by guys trying to make a move when I told them (first nicely) a million times that I wasn't interested. I was thrown around like a piece of meat and one guy pushed me up in a corner trying to kiss me and I had to kick his balls to get out of there, CRAZY! I've kissed one guy since march, and I want to continue kissing only him, not drunk guys at clubs.
When the evening ended, me and my friends went to a taco place, I was so hungry and wanted to eat anything. But then I looked at the guys that were trowing their heads into the food, and I got disgusted. So I went away, hiding from everyone, trying to collect myself and calm down. This is not me anymore, I've been there, I've done that, and I don't like it!
Guys, I'm sorry if I upset you by this but I've worked hard to get somewhere, and I put a big value on myself... this kind of parties doesn't give me anything, only a headache.
(Cant upload any photos, don't know why it doesn't work)
Pepes tonight
I'm late as usual, should be at Annas place in 30 mins, and I just got out of the shower. Going to Båstad tonight!
Sexy sexy!
Breakfast
Just to show you what I eat... sunflower seed sandwich with no sugar or syrup (always read labels), salmon and spinach. So fucking good! You learn to appreciate healthy food when you see what it does to you.
It keeps me full for hours! Although, I can't recommend it to you if you just started a diet. I'm trying to slow my weight loss down and stay at my goal weight, so I allow myself to eat like that. My BMI says that I'm underweight now, and I don't want to become scary skinny. I'm very very very happy right now at a size zero :)
Armani
I New York, I got a pair of jeans at Armani Fifth ave. It's the smallest size they have, a size 25. I never though in a million years that I could be able to wear a pair of jeans in that size. And look, they are loose!
Good morning!
Nah, not morning anymore, I slept in too long. I'm going to my favorite shop in the whole world, i'm like a kid in a candystore when I'm there. It's a shop with hundreds of hair products, I can stay there for hours! I'm going there because I need a lot of things for my damaged hair, the hairdresser at electa ruined it! I will show you later, planning on a videoupdate.
I have 1,5 more to go, it's so slow and so hard now because I'm trying to only lose fat and at the same time get more muscle mass. It's pure science...
My god...
I was in the bathroom like "lalalalaaa" putting on a self tanner and then drama started through a phone call! I'm not as nice as I used to be and wont take any crap no more! My eyes are telling me that it's time to sleep, so goodnight people that don't annoy me!
Don't cut any food groups out
Uh, still bad weather! I've been trying to get an appointment for a massage today because every muscle in my body is exhausted, but everyone is busy :( I will try to get a pedicure appointment today, the salon has massage chairs, I guess that's all I can get. But right now I'm just waiting for it to be 3 pm so I can eat something, it will be chicken with water chestnuts!
Another thing you should think about with your diet is that you don't cut any food group out from protein, fat and carbs. You're body needs a little of everything to work well and if you for example cut out carbs totally, you will be cranky, angry and unhappy and most likely to binge in sweets at night. Although, try to eat mostly protein like fish, meat, chicken, eggs etc. It makes you full longer and is vital for building muscle or just making them stay. If you cut that out, you will lose muscle mass, burn less fat and be weaker. As it comes to fat, stay with the healthy fat. Use olive oil when you cook something and stay away from fat that has a solid shape like butter etc. The omega 3 fat is good and you find that mostly in fish. Carbs, like veggies, bread, pasta is also something you need. For example, I eat whole grain bread in the morning and remember to read the labels! It should not contain sugar, sweeteners or syrup. But as always, use your common sense and don't eat to much of it. Too much carbs or fat will make you gain weight!
Something else that I'm trying to avoid as much as possible is salt. I never ever put salt on my food, ever! Try to get rid of the salt. It makes your body want to hold on to excess water.
More tips are coming up :) Tell me what you think about them and if there's something else you want to know. And thank you for all of your mails, keep em coming!
Tea
Ah it's raining... I was supposed to go out for a run but as close as I am to my goal, I don't have to run in the rain anymore. But as soon as it stops I will go out for a walk to the city and then get some fruit and veggies, my fridge is empty. Another tip that I have is green tea, it's great! If you're not used to drink green tea the taste could be a bit bitter but as with everything, you'll get used to it. Don't use sugar, sweeteners or anything like that, it's not worth it. Drink a cup in the morning, before meals and whenever you feel a craving for something, the tea calms the cravings down.
So, from one thing to another... I woke up at 9 because IKEA called me, I was still asleep when I spoke to them and the guy excused himself many times for waking me up. Finally a swede that excuses! People here don't do that often (not saying that all swedes don't). I was dreaming something about "Herbert" and it was a sweet dream, so I tried to go back to sleep after the call but couldn't and then I was like "NOOOO, I'm in Helsingborg and not in New York" :( Anyway, so my couch will be here on tuesday, can't wait for everything to be done.
Have a great day! I'll update later!
Friday night
Meeting Olivia tonight for a coffee and then a movie! Have a great night!
First tip
You probably heard this a million times, drink water! It's a excellent way to make you feel full and it has no calories and keeps you away from getting dehydrated which is dangerous. I drink a lot of water, at least 8 glasses a day and now when it's sunny and warm I keep one bottle in my bag all the time. The bad thing about it is that you spend a lot of time in the restroom. And some say that drinking too much could be bad for you. Use your common sense and know when you had enough or too little. I drink a bottle before every meal, it makes me not want to eat as much as I would if I didn't drink water. Sometimes hunger can be thirst, ask yourself before you eat something, are you hungry or maybe just thirsty? Have a big glass of water and think again... still hungry? Tell me how it works for you :)
I will share what I know, promise!
To Erika - Congratulations to your weight loss! It makes me so happy that I've been a motivation for you and I will for sure share whatever I know and help you to become the best you can be. Stay updated on my blog and I will post my very best tips and tricks asap!
Before/After. A difference of about 7 or 8 kg. If I can do it, you can!
Before/After. A difference of about 7 or 8 kg. If I can do it, you can!
When I calculate everything I lost, it's a total of 18,5 kilos (I gained weight in the US which I lost again in Sweden). At the moment I'm down 13,4 from my start weight. 1,6 left and I reached my goal!
<3
Life has its ups and downs, and I feel like I'm living in an PMS cycle everyday, even though I didn't function as a normal female since march (not pregnant, my body doesn't work the way it should). And being alone was something I though would make me stronger but when I think about it... what would I do without the awesome people I have around me? I would be pretty much fucked. For a year, I didn't have this amazing girl in my life, we took a "break" which was the worst thing that could happen between us. She sure knows how to make me happy, she makes me smile after talking for hours on the phone about feeling hopeless, she's magic!
My "Herbert" is the most amazing man I've ever met, without him I would still be that girl without dreams and hopes for the future. He woke me up and is just "the greatness" himself, and I like him A LOT! ♥
I'm taking a walk down to the hairdresser that ruined my hair last wednesday. If you want to see a frustrated girl with daily PMS and runied hair, come to Electa at 3 pm! I will not be calm.
My weight struggle
I'm not going to be evil and just comment on others weight struggles, so here I am, from fat a few months ago to how I looked after 10 kg in 1,5 month (I lost 13 now and I'm still losing but much slower)
Hmm... something happened with my body...
Weight struggle
I'm sorry but I really do think that she looked much better when she was at her lowest weight! But now she gained some back, whatever makes her happy... I guess...
For those of you that don't know, she has the biggest blog in Sweden.
Tuesday night
I'm in my bed again, after a night at Pepes in Båstad. Hundreds of Cristal bottles were emptied during the short while we were there, although I didn't help them because I was driving. Tatti had mine and her glass (well done T!) and then we went back home. Celebs, jet setters and vip's danced and jumped around like crazy and all I could think about is the place I really want to be...
...close to him :)
Almost at -15 kg!
I have a plan... I have 2.1 kg left untill I've lost 15. Untill the day the scale shows me that I lost it all, I will run! When that beautiful day comes, I will start on trying to find a way so that I stay at that weight. As it is now, I keep on loosing kilos, although I want to lose a total of 20, It would make me look quite ill and I don't want that. If for some reason I need to lose more for a job or so, I will... otherwise I will stay at minus 15 :) But, I want to lose more fat and replace it with muscles, and muscles weighs more than fat. I'm at 22% body fat right now. 20-30 is healty... so my percent is normal... and I don't like the word "normal". I want to be extreme in everything, so I'm going below 20 in hopes of looking more toned and finally show off my abs which are hiding under the disgusting fat! The fois gras I'm eating on the photo is about to go away from my body, it is tough and much hard work, but it was worth it! Going out for a run now...
I'm so proud of myself when I realize that I went from a size 40 to 32, from a jean size 29 to 24. A US size 8 to a 0!
As you see, a size zero isn't that small and wierd! But it sure is wierd when Armani at fifth doesn't have a smaller size than mine! (that's for sure an ego boost)
My new sofa arrives on friday!
I've been searching for a couch for a few months and I finally found one, it's simple but with a few large pillows it will look great! My problem now is to find a table. I know how I want it to be like, and I found it but it's way too expensive. I'd rather lay that amount on something like a pair of Manolos. So, I'll go to ikea again and continue the search of a table. 
(I'm sorry for the poor update of my blog, I'll do better, promise!)
Monday
I'm going down to the city with my angels Anna and Tatti and later I might go and se the movie "Bruno", Has anyone seen it?
Popstar shooting
Just got this photo today, love it!
By Martin White
By Martin White
I lost it
I have something impressive to tell you. In the US I gained about 3 kilos (weighed myself before a huge pizza). And I thought that it would be very hard to lose it again. But I started my hardcore diet again and I LOST IT ALL IN 3 DAYS! That's great! Now I just have to continue on this path and then I'll be a success story! And I promise that there will be more diet and weight-loss stuff here, hasn't been any for a while, because I've been on fat camp. Not the fat camp where you try to lose weight, I've been on the one that makes you gain weight. The diet contained foie gras, french fries, chocolate desserts, pizza, you name it and I ate it! But that holiday is over... I'm a size zero now in most clothes, I've only tried on one zero that didn't really fit. But I'm going back and next time it will fit, I will make sure of that! Anyway, I have 2 more kilos to go, and then I'm at my goal of losing 15 kilos... makes me stop and think.... wow I'm awesome! It also makes me stop and think... "I want to be a double-zero" Yes, that exists in the US, a "00" size. But don't worry, I will only go as slim as I have to be, it's a part of the choice I made 4 months ago. Anyway, the real work starts NOW! With my skinny body I will do BIG things, you'll see!
Party like a rockstar...
We're going out, and it's going to be awesome! Can't tell you more right now...
Check out her blog here - she is the best writer ever!
Check out her blog here - she is the best writer ever!
To something more serious...
It's very important to know your goat, small, midsize or large, doesn't matter! As long as it's a goat.
Blessed are the ones that dare to feel
As I sit in the car, once again back to the airport from another visit to NYC, tears fall down my cheeks and the feeling of a fresh kiss is still on my lips but begins to fade away as I leave the beautiful city behind me. The sunset makes the sky orange and pink and I start to count my blessings which I've always found hard but try even harder to make believeable when such greatness happens to me. Instead of liberating tears of sadness, I tried to convert them to tears of pure joy for an amazing gift that has been given to me, the gift of living and experiencing the treasures of everyday. My driver looks at me in the mirror with sorrow in his eyes, he wants to say something to cheer me up but puts on soft classical music in the background. And as a baby that rests against hers mothers chest, I begin to calm down to the beautiful tunes and feel overwhelmed, yet again, by a beautiful sadness.
What I mean is simple, but I believe that not many get to expierience this feeling if we dont grab it and think and feel deep inside when it shows up. I just got it a few months ago at a time I was sad about something that came to an end. It came from something as silly as South Park, "Yeah... And I'm sad! But at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad... It's like... It makes me feel alive, y'know? It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now, is if I felt somethin' really good before, so I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feelin' is, like a beautiful sadness...". It's so simple when you read it, isn't it? That's what I'm experiencing right now. Im now alone but the classical music doesn't help me any longer, my eyes are blurry from my beautiful-sadness-tears but they come from something so amazing and great that I smile in between.
I can decide to feel upset by being back in Sweden, I can decide to feel angry and stay in bed all day. Or I can choose to keep on counting my blessings that could get higher, more powerful, day by day and accomplish a higher level of life. I'm going all in so that I'll never regret anything. There is no failure if one tries, only a gain in knowledge about how to avoid failing (yes, I came up with that one myself).
So what is the new adventure for me this time? I kinda know, but somewhat I don't know, that's left for me to find out!
What I mean is simple, but I believe that not many get to expierience this feeling if we dont grab it and think and feel deep inside when it shows up. I just got it a few months ago at a time I was sad about something that came to an end. It came from something as silly as South Park, "Yeah... And I'm sad! But at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad... It's like... It makes me feel alive, y'know? It makes me feel human. The only way I could feel this sad now, is if I felt somethin' really good before, so I have to take the bad with the good. So I guess what I'm feelin' is, like a beautiful sadness...". It's so simple when you read it, isn't it? That's what I'm experiencing right now. Im now alone but the classical music doesn't help me any longer, my eyes are blurry from my beautiful-sadness-tears but they come from something so amazing and great that I smile in between.
I can decide to feel upset by being back in Sweden, I can decide to feel angry and stay in bed all day. Or I can choose to keep on counting my blessings that could get higher, more powerful, day by day and accomplish a higher level of life. I'm going all in so that I'll never regret anything. There is no failure if one tries, only a gain in knowledge about how to avoid failing (yes, I came up with that one myself).
So what is the new adventure for me this time? I kinda know, but somewhat I don't know, that's left for me to find out!
Couldn't be happier - In Las Vegas
My third time in NYC is coming to an end
Goodbye Las Vegas, farewell New York City, I'm going back to Sweden tonight with a bittersweet feeling. Although I'm sad to leave, I'm also overwhelmed with nice feelings. I've done so much, seen so much, eaten SO MUCH that I'm going back with yet another beautiful expierience. Hopefully, I'll be back soon, but for now... I'm going to enjoy my last hours in sunny Manhattan.
Im alright...
I went shopping on fifth ave today and decided to go blog-fanatic and take a photo in the dressing room of Emporio Armani. I got what I'm wearing and two other things. Whats funny is that they didnt have smaller sizes than the ones I'm wearing... what about sample sizes for models?, I also found two things on Louis Vuitton... Tomorrow I'm going to Las Vegas.. No it doesnt suck to be me!
See u in Vegas!
See u in Vegas!
Wonderful Wednesday
Olivia... I'm going shopping for you today! I'm also going to fifth ave in a serch for something special. And after I found everything I'm looking for, I'll get a coffee and go to Central Park... I need to leave now or else I will have a cupcake that is waiting for to be eaten up by someone, no cupcakes for me!
